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Thread: Need advice.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Mesa, AZ
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    800

    Default Need advice.

    Ok so I left the military in February of this year. I make a decent salary compared to the military but there are somethings I didn't expect to be so high (thank you Obamacare) so now I am breaking even each month. Though, if anything not within the normal budget comes around I am digging myself in the negative. I moved to Phoenix for my daughter from a previous relationship to gain 50/50 time. I was at 45 days per year and now on track for 50/50 in a few years (currently at 120 days per year). Just bought a house and am pretty stable here.

    My job has promised me a promotion into a manager position but recently decided to rethink that option. I am a junior member of the security team but a better manager than a tech compared to other members of the team. I would be given raises as I grow into the role but would save the company money by hiring a manager at a 'cheap' rate in comparison. The executives approved of me stepping up before but now are debating the issue again. I am a little upset since we talked about how my raises would go over the next 5 years and I survive until then at my current pay (my first raise would be in a few months of 10 percent, and 10 percent again in 6 months).

    So I started to look around and see what is available and found a job near Denver making twice what I make now (using my clearance) but its a 6 month contract to potential full hire or extension. The salary at full time hasn't been discussed but was 'comparable' to the hourly rate as per the contract. My guess is that it would still be 50 percent higher than what I make now. I was told with my skill set and clearance that even finding another contract at the company would be easy.

    By taking this job I might loose some time with my daughter who resides in Phoenix. The plan would be that if I got the contract I would go up there for 6 months and see if I get full hire or extension. I could pay off a lot of bills and have some money sitting on the side should another contract not be available. If either happens and seems stable I would then move the family up. Worst case I just come back to Phoenix with some saved up money looking for another job. This job in Denver would provide more money for my family and this would allow for the wife to stop working and raise the kids again.

    The relationship with my daughter is ok but she is almost 8 and already decided that her mom is her favorite. I wouldn't say its a 'lost cause' but I would say it would take a lot of work to get her to favor both parents equally (I wasn't around in the beginning due to all my time overseas)

    Should I jump? What do you guys think?
    US Army 2005 - 2014
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    2001 XJ Limited 4dr I6 Auto.

    "Stand your ground. Don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here!"

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    Default Re: Need advice.

    That's a very tough situation and I'm not sure I can give any advice based on experience as I don't have children yet, but look into cost of living up in Denver. I know it's higher than Phoenix, and that may not make it much easier to save money.

    Have you looked into the possibility of working a second job in Phoenix? It will take a lot of your free time, but might be the ticket. Also with military experience, look into law enforcement. See which agency pays the most starting out. Many officers in the Houston area have a security gig on the side to supplement their income.

    Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S4 because my microwave couldn't do it

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Need advice.

    I'd say go up to Denver and check it out, and like you said all else fails you'll have a little bit of money saved up once it's all said and done if things don't work out with the contract or the cost of living is too high up there to where it wouldn't end up being much better in the end.. I think one of the biggest negatives about moving up there completely is the fact of ou just purchasing a home there in Phoenix is trying to sell it after just purchasing it, and not going into negatives with that.
    FORMER GREEN XJ CLUB MEMBER
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Mesa, AZ
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    Default Re: Need advice.

    Thank you for all of the advice. I have been applying all over AZ but Denver is the first to bite. I just got an email response this morning for a job at Ft. Wegotcha(Hauchuca), AZ so fingers crossed.
    US Army 2005 - 2014
    US Army Reserves 2014 - Present

    2001 XJ Limited 4dr I6 Auto.

    "Stand your ground. Don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here!"

    Capt. John Parker, Lexington militia

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Need advice.

    Getting a position out @ FT. Hauchuca would be good, even if the pay isn't as much as the Denver job, but better then what you got now.... It'd keep you closer to your daughter and allow you to work on that relationship more.. She may not think of you as a favorite, but as you said a lot of that is due to you not being able to be around due to being overseas.. Keep pressing on and working on it, although you may not become the favorite, at least you will still hopefully form a good strong bond with her.. I spent a few years of my young life out @ Ft. Hauchuca when my dad was stationed there, and did Volksmarches and wheeling out there.. So we expect to see some wheeling pics!! LOL
    FORMER GREEN XJ CLUB MEMBER
    IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM!!
    DOING SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE YOUR BUDDY DOES IT THAT WAY MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS SHARING TOOTHBRUSHES

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Need advice.

    Interesting. Just read an article about this. Crazy whats going on with MJ up there and the opportunities its created.

    No idea how to advise you on your situation. Good luck. As a sidebar, great wheeling in CO.
    Wheelin' East Texas in a RED XJ

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  7. #7
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    Default Re: Need advice.

    I don't know for sure how old you are, and my reason for saying that is that if you aren't too close to 50, I would say take any chance you can get for a better position and a better life.

    However, don't shut yourself out of your daughters life. I know too many females that have "daddy issues" because their fathers were not caring enough or just decided to stay out of their lives. I'm not judging, just trying to make a point. A father is very important to a young females for her future relationships.

    The main thing is to keep trying to have a positive, but honest, relationship with her. She may only be 8 but tell her why you are doing what you are doing. Some day she might understand, if she doesn't now.

    Best of luck !

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
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    Jasper,GA
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    Default Re: Need advice.

    Dude I'm not an expert but I gave up 10 years in law enforcement with a Sgt. Rank in criminal investigations division. So I could be more of a dad to my 3 kids. Do all you can for your daughter and if it doesn't work out between you 2. At least you will have peace of mind knowing you tried. I'm now working 2 jobs, but I still have more time at home and a satisfied mind. Just my worth.
    "If you do, I will"

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