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Thread: Types of tools

  1. #1
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    Default Types of tools

    Types of tools:

    SKIL SAW :
    A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.


    BELT SANDER :
    An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.




    WIRE WHEEL :
    Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh ' . Will easily wind a tee shirt off your back.




    DRILL PRESS :
    A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.


    Channel Locks :
    Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.


    HACKSAW :
    One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.




    VISE-GRIPS :
    Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.




    OXYACETYLENE TORCH :
    Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.




    TABLE SAW :
    A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. Very effective for digit removal!!




    HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK :
    Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.




    BAND SAW :
    A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. Also excels at amputations.




    TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST :
    A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect.




    PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER :
    Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.




    STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER :
    A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.




    PRY BAR :
    A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.




    PVC PIPE CUTTER :
    A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.




    HAMMER :
    Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object you are trying to hit. Also very effective at fingernail removal.




    UTILITY KNIFE :
    Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. These can also be used to initiate a trip to the emergency room so a doctor can sew up the damage.






    CURSING TOOL :
    Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling Curse Words at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next
    tool that you will need.
    230 hp 4.3L Chevy
    Built 4L60E with manual lockout
    Atlas 4 speed
    Griffin radiator
    On board air
    Warn 9.5ti on custom bumper
    7.5" RE front and bastard pack rear on custom long arms
    30 gal gas tank
    lockers
    And a bunch of other stuff

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Types of tools

    I think I may own everyone one of those tools, and then some extras!
    TO ALL PRESENT, AND FUTURE, OWNERS OF RECREATION VEHICLES: may your days afield be filled with joyful and purposeful activity---but never at the expense of your fellow man, lesser creatures, the soil, woods or water.

    My 96 XJ Build:My 96 XJ Build

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    Default Re: Types of tools

    Quote Originally Posted by prcjeep View Post
    I think I may own everyone one of those tools, and then some extras!

    You too huh ?? ..
    I hate watching simplicity and reliability being ruined by bureaucracy and technology.

    Quote Originally Posted by MattybPDX
    If my jeep is going to be a grocery getter it's at least going to be a friggin awesome one.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Types of tools

    This is all to true, especially the last one.

    My father owned a business on a narrow triangular piece of property for almost 30 years, with the main showroom and offices facing the road, and the repair shop and bays extending out the back, towards the narrow point of the triangle/pizza slice. About 5 years before he retired, he bought the property next door, that the service bay doors faced, to expand the parking and truck-turn around.

    Because the property was so obvious, he basically bought the property and then he and walked it finally in the late fall, to plan for the grading, gravel, etc.

    We ended up getting his truck to carry back what we had found....

    Over 20 hammers, several crowbars, two handfuls of screw drivers, wrenches, 3 pipe wrenches, and three 5-gallon buckets of shafts, pinions, handles, etc, basically anything that could be thrown a distance. Incidentally, the shop foreman was the same guy for the past 20 years.

    My Dad, being who he was, took it all home. He was able to clean up most of the tools in the evenings with a bead blaster and wire wheel, then took them back to the shop, and put them in a storage locker. Until he retired, whenever a new purchase order for tools came across his desk and someone was asking to buy something he had in the locker, he gave it to that shop foreman, and that's what they got instead of a new tool. That same shop foreman never complained.
    2003 WJ Daily Adventuremobile
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: Types of tools

    I recognize WAY too many of those!!

    I'd like to add one more: Sawzall - perfect for making those fenders a tad shorter than planned while chewing up the part of the fender; also great for finishing up amputations where the band saw couldn't quite reach.
    Wheelin' East Texas in a RED XJ

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    cowl intake, Cobra CB, SYE, bumpers, 10K winch, lights
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    Default Re: Types of tools

    Amen!

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    Default Re: Types of tools

    Welder: for bonding two pieces of metal you may have not meant to bond together.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Types of tools

    Vice grips can also be used for clamping small, sensitive parts of hands/fingers to missalanious metal parts !

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