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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Chico, CA
    Posts
    29,692
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    Talking Bad day at the office

    Hi Sue,
    > Just another note
    > from your bottom-dwelling brother.
    >
    > Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've
    > been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I
    > would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
    > not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what
    > happened to me, I first must bore you with a few
    > technicalities of my job.
    >
    > As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I
    > wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of
    > year the water is quite cool.So what we do to keep warm is
    > this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.. This
    > 20,000 piece of
    > equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
    > delightful temperature..It then pumps it down to the diver
    > through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
    >
    > Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
    > several times with no complaints.
    > What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
    > take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet
    > suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.. It's
    > like working in a Jacuzzi.
    >
    > Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
    > started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only
    > made things worse. With in a few seconds my butt started
    > to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the
    > damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
    >
    > The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
    > it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my
    > back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.. However, the
    > crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
    >
    > When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
    > grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
    >
    > I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
    > communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact
    > that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
    > hysterically.
    >
    > Needless to say I aborted the dive.. I was instructed to
    > make three
    > agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
    > thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to
    > begin my chamber dry decompression.
    >
    > When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my
    > brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with
    > tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of
    > cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in
    > the chamber.
    >
    > The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two
    > days because my butt was swollen shut.
    > So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think
    > about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish
    > shoved up your butt.
    >
    > Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job,
    > I love my job.'
    >
    > Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a
    > jellyfish bad day?
    >
    > May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
    > Pass this on to all your friends, just in case they're
    > having a bad day!!!
    >

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Burleson, TX
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    nice deco a bi***

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    South TEXAS
    Posts
    7,244
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    Thank goodness I have never had a jellyfish day!!! Even when I was being shot at in the service it wasn't that bad. I was never hit so I can't complain.
    Hey bubba get your hand off my ass,

    Some days it is just not worth it to gnaw through the leather restraints.

    R.I.P. Brian 96_XJ Perrine 1990-2011

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