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Thread: Something from Amazon

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Joliet, IL
    Posts
    716

    Default Something from Amazon

    If you're thinking that all these people are lying in their reviews, think again. I doubted, oh I doubted so much. I ate about 40 of these little bastards just to see if it was all true. What happened to me next was truly gastrointestinal armageddon. It took about 3 hours for the demon bears to wake up inside me and launch their attack. Let me be clear about one thing. This is not your typical mudbutt, no. This is truly bear generated rocket fuel shooting out of your ass and propelling you off the throne. You will not sit for minutes at a time slowly cleansing your body of bear, you will evacuate your bowels instantaneously, and you will do it many, many times. The fury of the bears started around 9:30 at night. I am typing this review at 8:30 the next morning and my insides are still churning with full bear rage. The flatulent aftermath is just horrific. Im not just ripping farts, I am shredding them. You will shart. I guarantee it.

    Bottom line: do not eat the damn bears. You will be miserable. Heed the warnings.

    There are much funnier reviews of "Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears" This was just the last one that made me laugh.

    [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-SUGAR-Classic-Gummi-Bears/dp/B006J1FBLM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1401514827&sr=8-1&keywords=haribo+sugar+free+gummi+bears"]Amazon.com : Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears, 1 Lb : Gummy Candy : Grocery & Gourmet Food@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41g0q9VxkbL.@@AMEPARAM@@41g0q9VxkbL[/ame]
    There are no rocks, log trails or public land here so I’m building a mall crawler... Dawn of the Dead style!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    S.E. Texas
    Posts
    29,260

    Default Re: Something from Amazon

    Thought this was a personal account being recalled at first. Hilarious!

    Sent via messenger pigeon - i talk, he types.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Joliet, IL
    Posts
    716

    Default Re: Something from Amazon

    Im more of a chocolate kind of guy, I do plan to buy some of these for prank purposes.
    There are no rocks, log trails or public land here so I’m building a mall crawler... Dawn of the Dead style!!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Chico, CA
    Posts
    29,847

    Default Re: Something from Amazon

    That would be better than exlax in the cookies
    230 hp 4.3L Chevy
    Built 4L60E with manual lockout
    Atlas 4 speed
    Griffin radiator
    On board air
    Warn 9.5ti on custom bumper
    7.5" RE front and bastard pack rear on custom long arms
    30 gal gas tank
    lockers
    And a bunch of other stuff

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Posts
    65

    Default Re: Something from Amazon

    Haha my brother showed me these reviews on Amazon about a month ago and I had wondered about the validity of them, but haha that is hilarious that you tested them out! Like you said, they would be great for prank purposes! Might just have to order a bag so i can leave them out and watch while my friends eat them...

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