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Thread: Funnies

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
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    Default Funnies

    Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,


    Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'


    You must now refer to them as


    APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS ..

    And furthermore


    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


    1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
    ' BREASTED AMERICAN.'


    2. She is not 'EASY' - She is


    'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'


    3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a


    'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'


    4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a


    'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'


    5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes


    ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'


    6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a


    ' LOW COST PROVIDER.'


    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


    1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a

    'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'


    2.. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is


    ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'


    3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

    ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'


    4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

    'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'


    5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ***' - He develops a case of

    RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

    (Loved this one!)


    6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

    'REAR CLEAVAGE.'

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    South TEXAS
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    7,244

    Default

    I certainly want to be PC so thanks for that lesson. I am one more Rectal Cranial Inverted better informed XJT member due to your diligence on our part.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Heppner, Oregon
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    Default

    30 politically correct ways to say someone is stupid

    A few clowns short of a circus

    A few fries short of a happy meal

    An experiment in artifical stupitidy

    A few beers short of a six pack

    A few peas short of a casserole

    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in on box

    The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead

    One fruit loop shy of a full bowl

    One taco short of a combination plate

    A few feathers short of a whole duck

    All foam, no beer

    Body by Fisher, brain by Mattel

    Has an I.Q. of 2, but takes 3 to grunt

    Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear

    Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel

    Too much yardage between the goalposts

    An intellect rivalled only by garden tools

    As smart as bait

    Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash

    Doesn't know much, but leads the leauge in nostril hair

    Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor

    Forgot to pay his brain bill

    Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels

    His belt doesn't go through all the loops

    If he had another brain , it would be lonely

    No grain in the silo

    Proof that evolution can go in reverse

    Receiver is off the hook

    Several nuts short of a full pouch

    He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down

  4. #4
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    Default

    Joe is sooo lazy he married a pregnant girl...

  5. #5
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    8 qualities of a PREFECT boyfriend........... Brave, Intelligent,Gentle,Polite,Energetic,Non-alcoholic,Industrious,Self-organised.

    In short B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.

  6. #6
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    See this is the way guys think. If you can satisfy your woman the rest of that stuff isn't important. Guys never do the math, I mean that only last 45 minutes to an hour and a half max! You have to (pardon the pun) fill in the rest with talking or something...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
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    Default

    EYE EXAM for PEOPLE OVER 40







    HILARIOUS! (and I did see sheep...at first).

    Then I looked Closer to see if I recognized anyone!


  8. #8
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    Mar 2009
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    Plymouth Indiana
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    Default

    I see arce crack. LOL
    01 XJ /4" lift /33" DC Muds
    / M/T Sidebiters/ Surco / Hi-lift /Pilot Navigator lights / Bad Apple Fab diff gaurds / Midland/ Wilson / Front and rear receiver hitches / Rusty's LCA's / Magnaflow / AEM Intake / TB spacer / Jet Stage 1 / Pioneeer & Fusion Sound / AJ's Super rails / Warn Skid / BW Flat Flares/ Bedlined Rockers and Quarters / Big Daddy Tie Rod / Rustys Steering Brace


  9. #9
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    Default

    that was funny, I like that one

  10. #10
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    Mar 2009
    Location
    South TEXAS
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    Default

    I'm in the middle doing the evening prayer towards the east.

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