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  1. #16
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    Tony,

    You may have seen it on my rant in the forum, but I had a long-running IT job I lost in '08 because a new CIO came on board and flushed all the middle management to bring her "favorites" from another company that was laying off.

    I was devastated, always had great reviews, mentored my team, great performance metrics, etc...but I was laid off....the only warning I got was when my "director" of two weeks came to my desk that morning. I am happy to say that I cut the HR person off with a cold "lets skip the crap and tell me what I need to do for my check", and I exited the building before they returned to escort me, flipping my badge and parking pass to the security guard as I shook his hand for the final time. They walked 25 people out that day, some were almost pushed out. Several people showed up for work over the next few days, unable to grasp their jobs were gone after 15+ years. The former 100+ IT department was gutted.

    I did finally get another IT job, over in the sandbox, only saw a desk when I was leaving for R&R, learned a lot about life and myself, and finally got to work stateside again.

    You can't plan for everything, and most of the decisions made by those "above our pay grade" don't make sense at times.

    I learned one serious lesson during this whole mess of having my "planned little world" torn apart, then having to rebuild it. Pray, plan and prepare. Anything like that helps, and helps your state of mind, and most of us guys feel better when we are DOING something to prepare for an unknown.

    Pay off debt, build a cash emergency fund, stock up on food and water (as space allows), tweak your resume, contact headhunters, etc. Its a better way to expend that energy than worrying (which you will do anyway).
    For example, I am reassured that if I lost my job today, we could still eat for months without buying a thing...which means money for power, fuel, mortgage...paying the mortgage and debt down (and off) means the money I have goes for necessities. Keeping the vehicles maintained means they will run when I need them. Do these things even if everything works out, so its done.

    Thinking of you, and sending prayers...been there, done that, its not fun.
    2003 WJ Daily Adventuremobile
    1985 MF 250 Tractor (Fixed!!!)
    1999 XJ (in pieces in the driveway)
    1991 Explorer (Cracked Heads)(Stock, for now )
    1989 F150 (In progress-Blown freeze plugs)
    2003 Explorer 1.5" body lift, F150 towhooks, rare OEM skidplates, 265/70-16 Cooper Discoverer AT3's
    1979 K20, (in pieces in the yard) 350, NP465, NP205, Custom Rust Patches
    1970 C30 (tires tore open by bushhog)

  2. #17
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dredwolf View Post
    Tony,

    You may have seen it on my rant in the forum, but I had a long-running IT job I lost in '08 because a new CIO came on board and flushed all the middle management to bring her "favorites" from another company that was laying off.

    I was devastated, always had great reviews, mentored my team, great performance metrics, etc...but I was laid off....the only warning I got was when my "director" of two weeks came to my desk that morning. I am happy to say that I cut the HR person off with a cold "lets skip the crap and tell me what I need to do for my check", and I exited the building before they returned to escort me, flipping my badge and parking pass to the security guard as I shook his hand for the final time. They walked 25 people out that day, some were almost pushed out. Several people showed up for work over the next few days, unable to grasp their jobs were gone after 15+ years. The former 100+ IT department was gutted.

    I did finally get another IT job, over in the sandbox, only saw a desk when I was leaving for R&R, learned a lot about life and myself, and finally got to work stateside again.

    You can't plan for everything, and most of the decisions made by those "above our pay grade" don't make sense at times.

    I learned one serious lesson during this whole mess of having my "planned little world" torn apart, then having to rebuild it. Pray, plan and prepare. Anything like that helps, and helps your state of mind, and most of us guys feel better when we are DOING something to prepare for an unknown.

    Pay off debt, build a cash emergency fund, stock up on food and water (as space allows), tweak your resume, contact headhunters, etc. Its a better way to expend that energy than worrying (which you will do anyway).
    For example, I am reassured that if I lost my job today, we could still eat for months without buying a thing...which means money for power, fuel, mortgage...paying the mortgage and debt down (and off) means the money I have goes for necessities. Keeping the vehicles maintained means they will run when I need them. Do these things even if everything works out, so its done.

    Thinking of you, and sending prayers...been there, done that, its not fun.
    Thank you for your words. We are okay for the next several months. Of course the fear plays into but what if it's longer than that? It's the never ending "what if" game. Hard to get out of once you're in it.

    The "facts" of this is it is a furlough for 6 weeks, not a layoff. I heard from my contracted company manager that 6 weeks wasn't for sure. In a meeting on Thursday, his boss said it was temporary and it was 6 weeks. Even my contractor boss was happy to hear about that.

    I'm going to stick with that and stay away from the obvious what if's. That is what I know all the rest is best guess.

  3. #18
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    I'll mention this, I thought it was pretty funny, especially since it happened after I posted "but why can't God pull me to the side and tell me what's going to happen"?, or something to that effect.

    I hit the bed pretty late that night. My wife uses the TV like a night light with sound. So it was on, and I know to leave it on.

    There was a infomercial on and I was just to tired to find the remote and change it to something else. I do know how to turn down the volume with the little buttons on the TV though.

    After turning the TV down, still barely hear it, and arranging myself in the bed, I lay there waiting to drift off to sleep. I could hear the TV they were talking about a product I had never heard or seen on the TV before. Now I don't watch a lot of infomercials, or even commercials for that matter so this might be more common than I think.

    I was, however, surprised at the apparent timing of my concern, my wish, the channel the tv was on, my time selected to go to bed, etc...

    It was an infomercial about a CD that helps you not worry about things in your life. I don't remember the company, I don't remember anything specific, other than that. I had to raise my head and look at the TV. I only watched a few seconds, assured that it was real.

    I have to chuckle about things like this as this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me, and I suspect to you.

    Yeah I know the logic behind this but I still found it funny, wish made, wish granted.

  4. #19
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    I have hit many situations like that in my life, where in the midst of some crisis, something whacks me on the noggin hard enough to remind me to simply do the best I can, and plow on through, and find the help that I need, in one form or another.

    Like the story about the man in the flood that turned the rescue boat away three times, then asked "Why did I not get saved?" when when he got to Heaven, you have to keep your eyes open for the help/opportunity that may be right in front of you.
    2003 WJ Daily Adventuremobile
    1985 MF 250 Tractor (Fixed!!!)
    1999 XJ (in pieces in the driveway)
    1991 Explorer (Cracked Heads)(Stock, for now )
    1989 F150 (In progress-Blown freeze plugs)
    2003 Explorer 1.5" body lift, F150 towhooks, rare OEM skidplates, 265/70-16 Cooper Discoverer AT3's
    1979 K20, (in pieces in the yard) 350, NP465, NP205, Custom Rust Patches
    1970 C30 (tires tore open by bushhog)

  5. #20
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    It is truly amazing how stuff like that happens. There was a time about 7 years ago when something truly horrible was possibly going to happen. I was at work and just worrying like nobody's business and all of a sudden a song where in the main chorus the line "Everything is gonna be alright" came on. I hadn't noticed the music playing before that particular line played.

  6. #21
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    Quote Originally Posted by Brasscatz View Post
    It is truly amazing how stuff like that happens. There was a time about 7 years ago when something truly horrible was possibly going to happen. I was at work and just worrying like nobody's business and all of a sudden a song where in the main chorus the line "Everything is gonna be alright" came on. I hadn't noticed the music playing before that particular line played.
    Yeah I wonder if anyone gets in trouble when they do that.

  7. #22
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mudderoy View Post
    Yeah I wonder if anyone gets in trouble when they do that.
    Lol, you mean somebody ”up there” get in trouble?

  8. #23
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    Quote Originally Posted by Brasscatz View Post
    Lol, you mean somebody ”up there” get in trouble?
    Exactly!

    I'll add something to all. I want to express my sincere thanks to all of you and well just everyone that visits the site, watches our youtube videos and listens to the podcast. I was reminded that the worse part of losing a job, even temporarily is that it is a kind of rejection. It's a break in a relationship. I believe this is where my depression stems. Well I got over that depression pretty quick because I know that my relationship with you guys is better and more meaningful than any employer. I know sounds kind of gushy, but really I think that's what we all want. Acceptance, a laugh when we tell a joke, or that pat on the back. Something that tells you that you're making a difference in someone's life.

  9. #24
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mudderoy View Post
    Exactly!

    I'll add something to all. I want to express my sincere thanks to all of you and well just everyone that visits the site, watches our youtube videos and listens to the podcast. I was reminded that the worse part of losing a job, even temporarily is that it is a kind of rejection. It's a break in a relationship. I believe this is where my depression stems. Well I got over that depression pretty quick because I know that my relationship with you guys is better and more meaningful than any employer. I know sounds kind of gushy, but really I think that's what we all want. Acceptance, a laugh when we tell a joke, or that pat on the back. Something that tells you that you're making a difference in someone's life.
    Like that little "thanks" button right over there~~~~~~~~~~~>

    Oh yeah, you're on the x with that one. Acceptance is probably a bigger part of everyone's lives than they realize. Maybe a child doesn't get enough acceptance from their parents, no big deal, right? Wrong. Just something little like that can have a ripple effect in someone's mood/attitude. If it continues that person feels like an outcast, and doesn't feel they fit in with others. You see how this can snowball.

    But, at least everyone on here can and should know they will be accepted. Take me for example. I first came on here after being on other forums (and somewhat fed up with said forums) to find i was so greatly accepted that i stayed. Now, i probably shouldn't be proud of this but, Xjtalk is where nearly all of my time online is spent.

    Wow, just realized i am rambling.

  10. #25
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mudderoy View Post
    Exactly!

    I'll add something to all. I want to express my sincere thanks to all of you and well just everyone that visits the site, watches our youtube videos and listens to the podcast. I was reminded that the worse part of losing a job, even temporarily is that it is a kind of rejection. It's a break in a relationship. I believe this is where my depression stems. Well I got over that depression pretty quick because I know that my relationship with you guys is better and more meaningful than any employer. I know sounds kind of gushy, but really I think that's what we all want. Acceptance, a laugh when we tell a joke, or that pat on the back. Something that tells you that you're making a difference in someone's life.
    I know what you mean, buddy. I moved to Houston 5 years ago in a job where I work around people, but I work on my own. most of those people are car salesman and some are good acquaintances, but not friends. Most of my small group of friends from back home never matured after age 15 or so. Needless to say, there are several members on here that I consider much closer friends than anybody else around me. You hit the nail on the head with this forum, Tony. You really did.

  11. #26
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    Quote Originally Posted by XJ Wheeler View Post
    Like that little "thanks" button right over there~~~~~~~~~~~>

    Oh yeah, you're on the x with that one. Acceptance is probably a bigger part of everyone's lives than they realize. Maybe a child doesn't get enough acceptance from their parents, no big deal, right? Wrong. Just something little like that can have a ripple effect in someone's mood/attitude. If it continues that person feels like an outcast, and doesn't feel they fit in with others. You see how this can snowball.

    But, at least everyone on here can and should know they will be accepted. Take me for example. I first came on here after being on other forums (and somewhat fed up with said forums) to find i was so greatly accepted that i stayed. Now, i probably shouldn't be proud of this but, Xjtalk is where nearly all of my time online is spent.

    Wow, just realized i am rambling.
    Quote Originally Posted by Brasscatz View Post
    I know what you mean, buddy. I moved to Houston 5 years ago in a job where I work around people, but I work on my own. most of those people are car salesman and some are good acquaintances, but not friends. Most of my small group of friends from back home never matured after age 15 or so. Needless to say, there are several members on here that I consider much closer friends than anybody else around me. You hit the nail on the head with this forum, Tony. You really did.
    Thanks guys. Even though I drive my wife up the wall with "it's not easy being right all the time..." It really does feel good to do something right for a change.

  12. #27
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    We had a group outing today. The whole team before next Wednesday when the seven of us go on furlough. There was about 20 people there total. BJ's. I recommend the fish and chips.

    They were able to get upper management to agree to allowing three labtechs to stay. I know through talking with some of the guys, that two of the engineers will be playing "labtechs" during the 6 weeks.

    We were able to leave from the outing and go home early. On the way home I got a call from the company I work for, the company with the contract.

    They told me that instead of us being on furlough for the six weeks we would be terminated on the 13th, and reinstated (re-hired basically) on Feb 1st, if that turned out to be the return date.

    Everyone says the same thing, that this is temporary. I was told, without asking, that I was on the list of people they wanted back. So really nothing has changed, except I will technically be unemployed next Thursday.

    Even though this wasn't in my hands it still feels like I failed. Failed in not seeing this coming, not planning properly. Failed in trusting a company. Logically I know there isn't a lot we can do, just do our best and learn from our mistakes.

    I am lucky that I do have some money that will get us through these six weeks. So my concern is really just how long this unemployment will go on. When I started my professional career I worked a good solid five years, then I was out of work for 9 months.

    After that I vowed not to go through that nightmare again, and worked hard to become very important to the company that I was working for. Sixteen years later they decided they didn't need me any longer. That time I was out of work for eleven months. Since then I have been under paid and under employed. After three years with this company I had started believing that I could trust a company again, then this happens.

    So what I'm dealing with here is a bunch of positives, temp, commitment to re-hire, just no firm date. All in all much more positive than how it feels. What I'm dealing with is the fear that it will be another long wait to begin work again.

    Now one positive thing that happened today, besides those fish and chips, was a co-worker that I don't really work with, but he has a cube near mine, came to me and told me to contact someone inside the company. Not my company but the company we contract with. They have a hot job they are trying to fill and he spoke to this guy he's work with there for 20 years.

    I e-mailed my resume to him and he forwarded to the hiring manager. I did this before leaving for lunch, the company outing. I came back a little after 2pm to pick up my stuff and go home early for the day. I already had received an e-mail from the hiring manager at my personal e-mail address. He wants to see me next Tuesday.

    So I guess that's what life is. It's a series of unknowns. If we knew everything that was going to happen we probably wouldn't get out of bed each and every day. Not necessarily because what we "saw" was bad, it was just not that exciting, you know, knowing what was to come next.

    Prayers do work and I'm a very lucky person, I just lack the maturity to stay completely calm as this part of the story that is my life unfolds.

  13. #28
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    Wow, that's a lot to take in. It's not maturity you lack, it's responsibilities you HAVE. Let me explain what I mean... If you didn't have responsibilities such as your home, food, vehicles, bills, and most importantly family, you would be calm. If you were a 16 year old kid with zero responsibilities, you could be calm knowing that whatever happens wouldn't affect those things. I don't know if this helps, but I don't want you to be down on yourself for worrying. There are admirable reasons for your worry.

    My father worked for SABRE for many, many years as a Field Service Technician in the IT/Networking field. He moved up to instructor, training people. When I was a sophomore in highschool, a company called EDS bought his branch/company and laid him off. He was given 90 days to find another job and luckily he found another one inside the same company. About 6 months later, that position was eliminated and he was laid off again... this time for 2 years. He took several jobs that didn't pay peanuts and we all scraped by on credit cards and loans from grandma. I remember two Christmases where my gifts were a random assortment of wrenches that he got for 50 cents at an estate sale, even though I told him I didn't want anything other than family. Just over 10 years later he has been with his new company and just paid off all his credit card debts.

    I worked for CDM Data/A Kelley Blue Book company for 5 years from age 20 to 25. I rose to the top of my potential and had more job security than I could hope for. I frequently played golf with my boss and his boss, etc. The only problem was that they wanted to move me further up the chain, but there wasn't budget or room to do so. That job was all I knew since before I got married. 2 years ago, I was approached by the dealer group that was our biggest account and they told me that they wanted to go in-house and they wanted me to head up the department, define the position, train everybody then run the whole thing for the whole south Texas market. Scary, man. Before I was married, had a mortgage, had bills, and all my other responsibilities I would've jumped at the chance no questions asked. This was a huge corporation and turnover rate at dealerships are staggering. This was all about 3 months before my wife was going to quit her job and go through an unpaid teaching internship. I was racked with worry. My wife and I finally decided to go for it. The pay was right, the advancement opportunities were there, but I loved my old company. I've now been with my current company for 2 years and let me tell you... we wouldn't have been able to go a year on my check alone if it wasn't for this job. So far, everything is wonderful and I can only pray that it stays like that.

    The moral of this story is that it's ok to worry. There's nothing you can do about that. I believe that most, if not all things happen for a reason, and if you put trust in the Lord, things will work out. For example... if all this hadn't happened, you wouldn't have known about that hot job within the company. If you get it, which for some reason I have a feeling you will, the reason for all this terminated/rehired stuff was worth it.

    Keep the faith, Tony. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Everybody on this forum will always be there for you.

  14. #29
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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    Quote Originally Posted by Brasscatz View Post
    Wow, that's a lot to take in. It's not maturity you lack, it's responsibilities you HAVE. Let me explain what I mean... If you didn't have responsibilities such as your home, food, vehicles, bills, and most importantly family, you would be calm. If you were a 16 year old kid with zero responsibilities, you could be calm knowing that whatever happens wouldn't affect those things. I don't know if this helps, but I don't want you to be down on yourself for worrying. There are admirable reasons for your worry.

    My father worked for SABRE for many, many years as a Field Service Technician in the IT/Networking field. He moved up to instructor, training people. When I was a sophomore in highschool, a company called EDS bought his branch/company and laid him off. He was given 90 days to find another job and luckily he found another one inside the same company. About 6 months later, that position was eliminated and he was laid off again... this time for 2 years. He took several jobs that didn't pay peanuts and we all scraped by on credit cards and loans from grandma. I remember two Christmases where my gifts were a random assortment of wrenches that he got for 50 cents at an estate sale, even though I told him I didn't want anything other than family. Just over 10 years later he has been with his new company and just paid off all his credit card debts.

    I worked for CDM Data/A Kelley Blue Book company for 5 years from age 20 to 25. I rose to the top of my potential and had more job security than I could hope for. I frequently played golf with my boss and his boss, etc. The only problem was that they wanted to move me further up the chain, but there wasn't budget or room to do so. That job was all I knew since before I got married. 2 years ago, I was approached by the dealer group that was our biggest account and they told me that they wanted to go in-house and they wanted me to head up the department, define the position, train everybody then run the whole thing for the whole south Texas market. Scary, man. Before I was married, had a mortgage, had bills, and all my other responsibilities I would've jumped at the chance no questions asked. This was a huge corporation and turnover rate at dealerships are staggering. This was all about 3 months before my wife was going to quit her job and go through an unpaid teaching internship. I was racked with worry. My wife and I finally decided to go for it. The pay was right, the advancement opportunities were there, but I loved my old company. I've now been with my current company for 2 years and let me tell you... we wouldn't have been able to go a year on my check alone if it wasn't for this job. So far, everything is wonderful and I can only pray that it stays like that.

    The moral of this story is that it's ok to worry. There's nothing you can do about that. I believe that most, if not all things happen for a reason, and if you put trust in the Lord, things will work out. For example... if all this hadn't happened, you wouldn't have known about that hot job within the company. If you get it, which for some reason I have a feeling you will, the reason for all this terminated/rehired stuff was worth it.

    Keep the faith, Tony. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Everybody on this forum will always be there for you.
    Thanks for the reply, it helps.

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    Default Re: Does what you fear makes it come true?

    After reading all this all I can say is,hold on to the promises. God has promised us many things , all for our benefit. He will live up to all of them as long as you trust in him.One of my favorite versus is ,"In the world there will be trials and tribulation but have no fear , I have overcome the world".Followed closely by," I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". Hang in there Muddy with a little faith and perseverance it will all work out to the best of your benefit as long as you submit to his will.
    Aint got no whistle, don't belch out smoke, but my V10 aint no joke !!!

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