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Melissa
05-05-2009, 05:14 PM
Woman's Perfect Breakfast

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box
Her daughter is on the cover of Buisness Week
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton




A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and askes him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct asile.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "you see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigaretts, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's soooooooooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own..............so does she".



A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep", the wife replied, "in-laws"




A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00am for an early morning buisness flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00am." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00am. Wake up."