BlueXJ
10-06-2009, 09:48 AM
LITTLE BILLY ON...LIFE
> >
> > Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
> > another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
> > "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you
> > acne,
> > rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> >
> > Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> >
> > "Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a
> > time?"
> >
> > "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fawking business!!"
> >
> >
************************************************** ************************
> > **
> > *
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
> >
> > A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
> > you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little
BILLY.
> >
> > He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> >
> > The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
> >
> > Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides
> > of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top
and
> > sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which
> > one is married?"
> >
> > The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one
> > that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> >
> > To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
> > wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
> >
> >
************************************************** ************************
> > **
> > *******
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:
> >
> > Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in
arithmetic.
> >
> > "Why?" asks the father."
> >
> > "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
> >
> > "But that's right!" says his dad.
> >
> > "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
> >
> > "What's the fawking difference?" asks the father?
> >
> > "That's what I said!"
> >
> > ************************************************** ********************
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:
> >
> > Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
to
> > learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
> > multi-syllable word?"
> >
> > BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
> >
> > Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."
> >
> > Little BILLY says,"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> >
> > ************************************************** **********************
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:
> >
> > One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
> > hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
> > twice.
> >
> > First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
> > my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> >
> > "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > Michael.
> >
> > "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
> >
> > The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly
called
> > on little BILLY.
> >
> > "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
> > pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fawking beautiful".:smiley-gen165:
> >
> > Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
> > another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
> > "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you
> > acne,
> > rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> >
> > Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> >
> > "Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a
> > time?"
> >
> > "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fawking business!!"
> >
> >
************************************************** ************************
> > **
> > *
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
> >
> > A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
> > you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little
BILLY.
> >
> > He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> >
> > The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
> >
> > Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides
> > of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top
and
> > sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which
> > one is married?"
> >
> > The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one
> > that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> >
> > To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
> > wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
> >
> >
************************************************** ************************
> > **
> > *******
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:
> >
> > Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in
arithmetic.
> >
> > "Why?" asks the father."
> >
> > "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
> >
> > "But that's right!" says his dad.
> >
> > "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
> >
> > "What's the fawking difference?" asks the father?
> >
> > "That's what I said!"
> >
> > ************************************************** ********************
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:
> >
> > Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
to
> > learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
> > multi-syllable word?"
> >
> > BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."
> >
> > Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."
> >
> > Little BILLY says,"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> >
> > ************************************************** **********************
> >
> > LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:
> >
> > One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
> > hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
> > twice.
> >
> > First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
> > my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> >
> > "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > Michael.
> >
> > "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
> >
> > The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly
called
> > on little BILLY.
> >
> > "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
> > pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fawking beautiful".:smiley-gen165: